We sat on the beach for a long time, cuddling and watching the stars. Just before we parted ways, he reached out to hug me. Fear gripped me...

Just an innocent, supportive hug. My body thought it was an attack. 

That's when I realized how much terror I had buried in every cell of my body.

On another occasion, I was going to have sexual relations with someone with whom I had previously decided I did not want to do so. However, we still met. To some extent, I was still attracted to him... He took me in his arms... I felt aroused... Things turned out the way they did... He walked into my room... I broke down in tears... He came out...and held me…

After I'd sobbed my heart out... "Has anyone ever hurt you, Karolin?" he inquired. I gave it some thought. That was the question that struck me. "No," I explained, "I've only ever had great, considerate lovers." " Some may be ignorant and uneducated, but they are not forceful in any way."

So, if I've just had nice, thoughtful relationships. Why is it that my body won't open up to a man? Why is it that my vaginal door is always shut? Why is it that if a man tries to hug me, I flee in terror?

I thought I was done with these problems.

And I had done so. On a psychological level. In my thoughts, I came up with all the possible explanations to make "everything OK." Smiling and being "oh-so-open" sexually. My body, on the other hand, was not convinced. It still doesn't work.

It's a good idea to check in with your own feminine spirit, the woman within you, at regular intervals and ask, "How are you doing?" What's up with her? This isn't about whether your finances are in order, your children are healthy, your relationship is stable, or your profession is moving forward. I'm curious as to how she's feeling. What's up with the woman in you? Sit quietly and see the image in the depths of your heart. Is she all right? What exactly does she require? What can you do to help her? What are the things you need to let go of? What areas do you need to focus on more? It's also not a purely theoretical issue. After that, there must be practice. Implications must be considered. 

Nobody can take care of our feminine nature for us; no one can do it for us. Yes, they can help, and help may be required, but no one can do it for us. It is our obligation to maintain our connection to our own truth. To accomplish so, we must first notice and become aware, then be driven to change and have honest experiences. It's not always the external situations that need to be focused on; instead, it's the inner perceptions that need to be reprogrammed. And it may take time, patience, and love to retrain our habits. However, the shift from a fear of sex to a love of sex, and from a fear of life to a love of life, is time and practice well spent.

I learned these practices for myself, and now I'm passionate about sharing what I've learned with others so that they can benefit as well. The techniques I teach are designed to help you connect to your true self, flourish, shine, and radiate. My courses of Yoni Yoga, Tantra yoga, Opening Your Heart by Connecting to Your Breasts, Awakening Female Pleasure, and many more are now available on the OmidLife platform. You can get an easy subscription on the platform, join courses and start to rejuvenate your true self.